Mitsubishi Staff Golf Club

With the start of the new season, we had a great turn out on Saturday. With the announcement of a new ecclectic comp, fees payable and the usual Saturday morning collections, it was a very busy start for the new tee masters, as cash was flying everywhere... Note to self " I'm busy in March next year ! "

Winning the Mike and Cath Smith Monthly Medal for March, is the bloke who only comes out once a year... Doug ' Santa ' Glover. As usual, when he does come out to play, takes a quick look at his handicap, complains he can't play to that, and then goes out and wins the day. Douggie won the day with a nett 64, doing just enough to hold on and win. Well played Doug, see ya next year then I suppose....

Grade winners this week were Steve ' Half price ' Belcher in A Grade with a nett 65, and ' It could've have been mine ' Kymbo wins B Grade with a nett 65. Rob ' I need some better playing partners ' Gardner wins C Grade with his nett 66.

Plate winners this week were Klaus ' Robbo brings me down to his level ' Ebdrup in A Grade with a nett 81, and Super ' 2 in a row ' Mann takes it for B Grade with a nett 81. Paul ' I wish I had an excuse ' Hughes takes the the C Grade plate with a nett 80.

Finally, it was good too see that this club can still produce a couple of team players, even if it did take the Vice President himself to step up and show the way... That's right sportsfans, yours truly coughed up for the pleasure of a 1,2,3,4...5 putt on the 7th !!! Well it was going to be only a 3 putt and pickup off the back of my putter, until Klaus yelled out that it was stroke, and as a result I quickly pulled my hands out of the way.... The other team player this week was the Joffinator... Joff managed to find the tee sand box off his drive on the 4th, only to watch it come back and fall short of the ladies tees. Smart move doing it on the front 9 tho' mate, a quick stop after the 8th, a cheap six pack, and eveyone's happy.

And it was appropriate that Billy ' Mars Bar ' Bollard waited until the Mardi Gras weekend  to express to the Club his new love. Whilst waiting on the first tee, Bill decided to share with everyone that he " Loves The Knob ".... Despite outbreaks of laughter and a few " WHAT THE F... " calls, the human Bollard repeated himself. Maybe next time William, a simple re phrasing and context may help avoid the confusion, as a few blokes were about to finally congratulate you on coming out after all these years of hiding...

Fees still due, thanks to those that have already paid... Ecclectic money $5 also due if you want to be a part of it. Anyone wanting in on Kempies Footy tipping Comp needs to supply him with their email this weekend for the link to be sent through.

See you boys on Saturday

Cheers

Robbo

With a lot of the boys at Clipsal for the weekend, or not having any hope in the Summer Cup, we had a smaller than usual crowd of 18 blokes rock up on Saturday. With the final round of the Allin Towbars Summer Cup, once again played in blazing heat , one bloke was certainly enjoying his day. This weeks winner, with a great round of 45 points, was Mike ' No, don't write that ' Taylor. Young Mr Taylor clipped Harrys' wings from last week, and now wants the title of "Birdman". The Champ caressed in 4 birdies, all on holes where he didn't get a stroke apparently.... Well done Champ, worthy winner, even just for the fact that you put up with Robbie D's drivel every week in the cart !!! Not sure if there is any truth to the rumor, that Mike has spent the week searching the shed for the old 6 x 4 promo shots and will be setting up a booth on Saturday, personally signing them for a small fee....... Looking forward to the "You Da Man " chant ringing out on the tee Saturday  !!!!

Grade winners this week were Steve 'Money bags' Belcher in A Grade with 36 points, after also claiming the bingo ticket and sole winner of the $39 birdie purse. In B Grade, Phil 'All was good until Mike came in ' Edwards wins with 40 points, and Paul ' Earlybird ' Hughes takes C Grade with 38 points.

Plate winners this week were Matty ' Victim of the par 16  /go in the park 17 handed down the group curse ' Loan in A Grade with 28 points. Super goes from the B Grade Penthouse to Shithouse with a his round of 28, and Robbie ' Bedazzled by the champs brilliance ' Gardner claims the plate for C Grade with 30 points.

Sometimes in life, there is nothing better than watching a master of his trade applying his skill.... And, walking up the 5th last week, our group was lucky enough to witness  THE best club pilot put on a show. In his usual group, playing the 6th, a sliced ball into the trees was enough for Paulie ' Blue Thunder ' McKenna to get to da choppa.... No hesitation, swirling iron travels straight down the fairway.... Absolute poetry in motion people !!!!

No team players reported this week, but with a stroke round coming, that could change on Saturday.

Committee meeting this weekend boys at 7.45 for those of us involved.

Club fees due now also boys, $60 payable to Big Kev.

Have a good week fellas

See ya's on Saturday

Robbo

Another Saturday, another 40 degree day... Geez, is Mike Smith producing this weather so we'll book out carts every week ?? Despite the heat, this week saw 22 players willing to take on death valley from the comfort of a cart, in the penultimate round of the Allin Towbars Summer Cup.

And this week, we have a new winner. Winning with a great score of 44 points, was Mark ' Hold the fish, I just like chips ' Harris. By all accounts, Harry was having a day out, with three chip ins on the back 9, and dropping long range putts throughout the the round. Well played Harry, great round.

Grade winners this week were Steve ' Will I Qualify ' Belch in A Grade with 41 points in A Grade. Super 'The Mixoligist ' Mann wins B Grade with his 37 points and the dark horse, now front runner for the C Grade  Summer Cup, is Dave 'Don't choke' Clarke. DC - 5 wins it with another great Cup round of 42 points.

Plate winners this week were Jarrod ' Why did I put my name down with bloody Bollard ' Rowland in A Grade with 30 points. Paul ' Why are we waiting ? ' McKenna takes it for B Grade with 29 points, and Paul ' Walking is so over rated, come back Kenneth !! ' Hughes claims the plate for C Grade with 32 points.

Now, as a bloke who is never shy in calling " JUG " even before a bloke has hit his tee shot, or lick his lips and make very obvious slurping sounds, sometimes on a second putt, even I had to say no to Billys' disputed call this week. The Human Bollard had felt harshly done by, thinking that he had finally got a coffee out of Nan, when Jarrod landed on the 6th for 4 strokes. After 3 putts, and still not in the hole, the dwarfie picks his ball up...  " That's a Scrub " ....Well poor Kermie in his fluro green was having none of it " JUG... JUG " . Sorry Billy, only in stroke mate..... Unless you do it in front of me, that is mate !!! Just relive the glory of out driving Nan on the 12th, the 15th and the 17th !!!!

This week brings the Summer Cup to a close, so good luck to anyone in contention for a Grade win , as overall was pretty much done and dusted a few weeks ago. This week also brings a close to our financial year, so membership dues will be payable to Big Kev from the first week in March. The committee has decided to keep dues at $60, so if we could be prompt in paying, that would be a great help.

See you boys on Saturday

Cheers

Robbo

With the threat of 41 degree temperatures on Saturday, it was good to see at least 21 players were still silly enough to take on the course after the AGM. And, making a late charge for the Summer Cup, this weeks winner ( besides Mike after we booked out all the carts !!) was Klaus ' Glad I didn't walk it ' Ebdrup. The great Dane won the day with a score of 39 points. Well played Klaus.

Grade winners this week were Frankie ' Settle down Klaus, I'm still here ' Balter in A Grade with 38 points. Paul ' Chopper ' McKenna wins B Grade with 39 points, and Billy ' No Willy ' Bollard wins C Grade, with 36 points.

Plate winners this week were Jase ' The Keyboard Warrior ' In A Grade, going from penthouse to shithouse in a week, with 27 points. In B Grade ' I Couldn't even drive Miss Daisy ' Kymbo, having atough day off the tee, claims it with 27 points. Peter ' Is this anyway to run a top rank ballroom ' O' Connor, takes it for C Grade with 30  points.

No team players were reported on Saturday, although a couple were noticed on Sunday, hey "Airy" Tolius and Mrs Hunt !!! There may have been more, but not dobbed in.

Was good to see young Zachary out both days on the weekend, although after his putting struggles on Saturday, don't think he'll be rushing back to Belair anytime soon.

So another AGM has been and gone, with a couple of changes this year. Rowie has left the committee, after many years of of great service, and is replaced by DC- 5, who already has some plans for the club.... Whether they're good or not, only time and meetings will decide. So, thanks for your service Pete, and welcome Clarkey. This year also sees the return of Belcher back into the secretary role, much to Mattys' pleasure.

Another great day on Sunday, with the first away game taking place at Wirrina. Another good turnout, and although still hot, we all managed to have a laugh and good time on a good course. Because I had to take off early for a fringe show, I wasn't able to stick around for the presentations. But I believe Big Kev showed up his boys and won the day with a great score of 41 points. And Stevie ' Someone's gotta win it ' McKenna takes out the first NAGA of the year with 28 points.

Thanks to the sub - editor for filling in last week,

See you boys on Saturday,

Cheers

Robbo

On a day when it was 40 degrees in the shade, Big Jason "Whitey White" shone out like a three year old's Christmas star, on the top of a Gay Christmas Tree! Yes Whitey left all challengers in his wake three strokes clear of his nearest rival. Clarkey was having a blinder as well, Clarkey, you" missed it by that much". A Nett 66 but No Cigar. Clarkey better luck next time. Steve Mc one stroke further back with a Nett 67 wins the Money in the Secret Squirrel Group plus me. One consolation is that I didn't have to give the $5 to Peter "Grumpy" Rowe.

It wasn't my fault, They mowed the greens to close, They put the Pin in the wrong place, The Tee block was to low, Too many trees on the course and it's not my kid.All the excuses in the world, I still four putted and had to cough up.

Four putting is not as bad as a 10, an almost 10, and a 12. Yes if you missed it there were two Bo Derecks walking around in Bikinis. Yes, Brad Holt and Graham "Hunny" Hunt. The thought of those two in Bikinis is to much for the mind to cope with. Hunny posted a Nett 71 with a 9 and a 12 in his score and Brad posted a 10 in his disqualification.

A new Puffer has joined the gang of E Cigarettes clan of three, being myself, Big Kev and now the Joff. By the way watch out for Joff's left jabb. Very aggresive behavior Joff.

If you had an 82 you would be thinking that you had a good round. (Unless you are Tom Dougan) some would be creaming their pants. Not Tiger, keep a rope and a chair away from Tiger as he capitulated in his latest tournament finishing last. Poor Tiger, tha'ts enough empathy for Tiger, move on Tiger!

The Feeling of seeing Billy Bollard's willy, and then the thought of seeing Billys Willy again in the same round, yes the L Plates. A Grade this week goes to a Bo Dereck and a four putter for not coping with the heat and saying to hell with it all we're going in. This Week Brad "Bo Dereck" Holt and Tony "Bulmers Four Putt" Bryant get dual L Plates in A Grade.

The Robbo with a crappy Nett 82 scores the L Plate in B Grade and in C Grade the man holding back on the Saturday competition and waiting for the first Away Game at Wirrina, Rob "the Scammer" Gardner wins the C Grade L Plate.

AGM this week boys, be there by 7.00am sharp for the meeting and breakfast.

See you all there.

The part time editor signing off.

Well, after a few weeks off air due to transmission difficulties, and a general lack of you blokes doing anything remotely interesting, this week sees a return to the news... Good for some, not so for many!!!

The winner of this weeks round of the Allin Towbars Summer Cup is Fran..... Oh, no it's not !! Geez, things have changed since the last news updates. Congrats this week to the one man tee master, Peter ' Bloody Hunny ' Rowe. Rowie smashed his nearest rival, and shook hands with the handicapper, to win the day 5 points clear with a great score of 46 points. Great stuff Pete, and well done holding the fort the last few weeks.

Grade winners this week were Jarrod '  Swing while no one's watching ' ' Rowland in A Grade with 38 points. Mike ' Forty Farkin' Dollars... Can you believe it ??  '  Taylor takes B Grade with 41 points, and Peter ' Jump, you.... Jump ' O'Connor wins C Grade with 32 points.

Plate winners this week were Brad ' My game is out swimming with Harrold ' Holt in A Grade with 23 points. ' Pour me another one ' Robbo takes it for B Grade with a not so sobering 26 points, and Andy ' Should've got the lycra out instead ' Harding claims the C Grade plate with 29 points.

The only team player dobbed in this week was the new prospective member Sam ' The Tinder King ' Woodhouse. Young Sammy put down his booty call bat phone long enough to manage a 4 putt on the 7th. And like all good Club Members, the boys were quick to fill him in on the rules... Yep, that's a round on you mate.

The only person busier than Nando behind the bar on Saturday morning, was the poor bloke cooking up the breakfast in the caravan park for wayward golfers !!  Andy ' I'll go 5 off the tee, and scrambled thanks mate' Harding entertained the masses by going in twice, and then Phil 'Poached ' Edwards followed not long after. 

See you boys on Saturday for Februarys' Monthly Medal

Have a good week

Cheers 

Robbo

With temps expected in the low 40's, it wasn't surprising to see only a lonely  couple of madmen out of 19 players deciding to walk the course last week for Januarys Monthly Medal, sponsored by Mike and Cathy Smith. And nevermind the ambient temp, most of the heat was radiating from the clubs of the burglar Balter. Finding out before teeing off that he started the Summer Cup in A Grade rather than B, the young ball stopper fired up and shot a great round of 64 nett, beating his nearest rivals by 2 strokes. Well played Crankie, you'll be off single figures at this rate by the end of the Summer Cup.

Grade winners this week were Klaus 'Traphobic' Ebdrup in A Grade with a nett 66. Joff 'I definately play better without Robbo' Gould takes B Grade, also with a Nett 66. Dave ' Ringtail ' Clarke takes C Grade with his nett 71.

Plate winners were Matty ' I'm headin' for a knee op, so I'll walk with ya Hunny' Loan in A Grade with a nett 74. B Grade was a case of who DQ'd first.... which I think was given to Phil ' Put me back in C Grade please' Edwards, although could've been Dale or Champ as well. And Kermit ' The lovers, the dreamers... and Bill'  Bollard DQ'd to take it for C Grade.

Only Nan was dobbed in for team player this week, for falling short of the ladies on the 11th. To make matters worse for the self proclaimed Rocka, he performed this feat in front of a group that included Robbie Dale and Champ, as they finished off on the 14th... All full of sympathy and encouragement for the the little dwarfie by all accounts!!!

In other news, DC-5 is now calling for a new local rule when ball is affected by a baby possum the size of either a church mouse or wombat (depending on who relates the story ). Clarkey cried unfair when told to take a penalty drop, even though the ball wasn't going any where from it's lie, with or without the little critter within it's 10m radius!!! 

With everyone starting to drip feed back from holidays, hopefully we will get some better numbers out this week, and there will be a big enough float for me to claim my birdie money from a few weeks ago...

Cheers boys

See ya's on Saturday

Robbo

As expected, with round 2 of the Allin Towbars Summer Cup tapped on the weekend after Xmas, numbers were down last week. With  only 15 blokes making it out on Saturday. And the winner with a great score of 43 points was Robbo.... Well, it should have been, if not for our favourite  A Grader hiding in B Grade Burgular, Frankie. 'Champs Backstop' Balter got me on a countback to claim the honors. Well played Frank... ya bastard.

Grade winners this week were 'No new socks for Chrissy' Rowe with 35 points in A Grade, 'Being sober helps I guess' Robbo takes B Grade and Phil 'Bangladeshi driver in tune today' Edwards takes out C Grade with a keeper score of 41 points.

Plate winners were Benny ' What time is it ' Dale in A Grade with 23 points. Steve ' Nothing to see here ' McKennna takes it for B Grade with 30 points and Robbie ' Should've gone shopping ' Gardner takes it for C Grade with 28 points.

No team players recorded this week, no tips from Robbie D, and no other newsworthy events.... 

With the expected temps for this weeks Monthly Medal sitting in the forties, it may be a smart move to call the pro shop and book a cart boys...  

With the expected heat, it has also been raised that if Saturday (or any day for that matter) is rated as catastrophic, then the course will be closed. This is due to the course being part of the National Park, and is out of Mike's hands.

Happy New Years boys

See ya's in 2015

Cheers

Robbo

Last Saturday saw our delayed start to the Summer Cup, and 28 players came out in the heat to play for Decembers Monthly Medal. Eleven of those players were also in a side battle, trying to win the last prize up for grabs for the year. In the end, it mattered little, as Belch found the form he lost in the playoffs, winning both the Winners Shield and the Medal. In doing so, Belch also booked a ticket to next years playoff as well. With a nett score of 62, 'Swarmi' Belcher swept the rest of the field, with the nearest bloke 5 strokes behind. Well done Belch, and good size haul you took home on Saturday night.

Grade winners were Ronnie 'Quiz King' Jaekel in A Grade with a nett 67, Paul ' What medal ' McKenna takes B Grade with a nett 67, and Billy ' Hoodoo Voodoo ' Bollard surprises everyone to crack a win in C Grade with a nett 70.

Plate winners were Klaus ' Polish This ' Ebdrup in A Grade with a nett 74. Kenneth ' Saving My Handicap For Something Better ' Ponting takes it in B Grade with a nett 80, and ' Philthy ' Edwards DQ 's to take it for C Grade.

Bad luck fellas, the birdie hole went off last week, thankfully to a very deserving winner. Yours truly, '3 times now suckers' Robbo claims it again, winning over $120 all to himself this time as well..... Your welcome boys.

With everyone racing off to get ready for trophy night, only 2 team players nominated this week. ' One ticket ' Whitey fell short of the ladies on the 4th, and ' C2 ' Hunny produced an airy on the 6th to help his playing group rehydrate on the back 9 holes.

Shot of the day goes to Benny ' Marco / Polo ' Dale. After turning up on Ben time, he walks up to the 1st, and launches his drive straight into the Caravan Park pool.... Great stuff.

And how good was trophy night.... well, apart from the jandals on Garth ' Russell Coit ' Rowland. A good mix of winners, a great choice of Robbie D for Clubman of the year, and a bit of neck exercise for the smokers thanks to the nurses show upstairs. Another great night organised and MC'd by Kymbo. Well done mate, hope you are enjoying your break up North.

Xmas ambrose this week boys... Let's hope a Mitsi crew win it.

All the best boys

Robbo

Saturday saw the Finals of the Club Championships, and what a day it turned out to be. With Big Kev calling the players off into battle, all games got underway in good conditions. And coming out on top, was none other than the Vapour King, Club Captain Tony ' Bulmers ' Bryant. Big T knocked out Steve ' Assassin ' Belcher 2 up, to claim the honour of being crowned 2014 Club Champion. Great stuff Tone. In B Grade, Matty ' 6 pack ' Loan defeated Frankie ' Could've been Club Champ with no Tommy ' Balter 1 up to get the goldleaf in B Grade. And  in C Grade, the boys had to take it to the 3rd extra hole to find a winner. And congrats to Paul ' Almost choked it ' Hughes, for managing to get the job done over Billy ' The Comeback Kid ' Bollard. 

Congratulations boys on your victories, and well played to the runner upperers.

For the also rans, we played another stableford round. And the winner was Robbie ' Jugs Away ' Gardner with 38 points, beating the tipster Dale on a countback. Well played Robs' !!!

A Grade winner was Pete ' Sock Fade ' Rowe with 37 points, Rob ' Get On ' Dale takes B Grade with 38 points, and somehow the newest member to the jobless bum crew, Graham ' Centrelink ' Hunt wins C Grade again with his 34 points.

Plate winners this week were Jase ' Spare key would be good ' Whitey in A Grade with 32 points. Kenneth ' Get Robbo a Job ' Ponting takes it for B Grade with 27 points, and Andy ' No Show ' Harding gets the plate for C Grade with 23 points.... All big ones though according to his card !!!

As for team players this week.... I know there were a few, but I spent too long on the 19th and lost the list .... Dickwad !!! Hey, don't judge, Bulmers was buying. So it would be unfair to single out Robby G and 'Hello' Lionel when there were more putting their hands in their pockets!

This week gets us underway for the Summer Cup, with Decembers Monthly Medal and the overall Monthly Medal winner being played this week. Followed by trophy night... you beauty !!!

See you there boys

Robbo ' The Rough Cutter '